He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” John 7:38
First, I have to tell everyone that I am so encouraged and blessed beyond words by your postings on here and Facebook. Please keep them coming, they are huge to me! Thank you so much for posting!!
Last night we had a pretty bad storm up here (we are north of Salina so I always seem to say up here). It was wrecking havoc on our small town - trees and power lines down, sheds being picked up and blown across the street and a house had the roof tore off. Like I said it was a bad one.
What was I doing during the storm?? Sitting in the quietness of my home and thinking how wonderful the sound of rain was and knowing that we needed it badly - I was at peace with it. We have lost power, had strong wind and pounding rain before but I didn't put much thought to it until this morning when I see friends posting pictures. No, I wasn't oblivious to the severity of the storm, I guess I didn't think it was as bad as it really was then.
I guess that I can liken it to my cancer. I know I have it and I have seen what it has done to others - I guess that I don't think that it is 'that bad'. Not saying that it isn't, but that I am not dwelling on it or really thinking about it for that matter. It is like the storm we had last night, one that causes destruction to some but not all. I am also not saying that it won't cause destruction in me.
Dwelling, fretting, crying or being stressed out will not change the fact that I have cancer and certainly will not get rid of it. This is my 'boat'. Am I trying as hard as I can to row against the current - not really, am I sitting there with my oars out of the water - no not that either. What I am doing is rowing at my own pace and letting God do the rest...he is the Captain of my boat. I am calling it 'my boat' which is much smaller than a ship but still a vessel on the river none the less. No matter how big or small our vessel is we are still on the river of life.
You can call it being a military wife who has to roll with the punches or even deal with the stress of being a single parent while my husband is in Iraq. One of my favorite things John has always said is "Suck it up and drive on soldier."
My question to you this day is what is the storm that is pounding away at your boat and how will you handle it? No matter how hard you try can you make it stop? Is it really something that you can change on your own or do you have to let go and let God be the Captain?
Do I know what the outcome of my cancer will be - no. I may live until I am 80 or be lucky enough to see my daughter get married and my son graduate from high school. There have been so many people say "I am praying for you". I hope you are on your knees every night praying for the peace that I can only get from God and that he will wrap his loving arms around my husband and children and prepare them for what the outcome is. I have to laugh (on the inside of course) at those of you who say "You are strong and I know you can beat this". I am strong spiritually - in the Lord - but no one really knows what God has in store for me - not even me. Regardless of the outcome, God is in control and has known from the beginning of time.
My job on earth is to share about God's love and saving grace and the blood that Jesus shed for us. I know the mess He pulled me out of and how He changed my life at that moment I was in the balcony of the church when I asked him to come into my heart and take away my sin. I now know - 100% without a doubt - that when I die I will be in Heaven with Him regardless of when that is.
I pray that what I share and what I show is all for the glory of God. I pray that someone will be blessed, encouraged and even enlightened while I am in my 'boat'. And yes, I pray that if you do not know 100% without a doubt that you will be in Heaven when you die you find someone who can show you from the bible how you can have that blessed assurance.
Be blessed my friends!
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